


#PissInCopcars2020

by honeyfarm



Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: ACAB, Crack Fic, Crowley’s a drug dealer, Destiel - Freeform, F/F, Fighting, Homophobia, Lesbians, destiel gets arrested, fuck cops, genderbent, idk how getting arrested works don’t yell at me, theres a boot licker in the dog park
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24831193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeyfarm/pseuds/honeyfarm
Summary: TW: homophobia/homophobic slurs, fights, cops being bastardsAfter their date is interrupted by a homophobe and Deanna gets into a fight, her and her girlfriend, Cas end up getting arrested.But Castiella can’t help but remember a post she saw a few days before telling her to piss in a cop car.
Relationships: Destiel
Kudos: 15





	#PissInCopcars2020

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t really know how getting arrested/bail works so this probably isn’t accurate. This is just a crack fic on the basis of fuck cops ✨🧚♀️

Castiella leaned her head against Deanna as they sat together in the dog park, watching puppies tumble around and chase their tails.   
Cas had always considered herself a cat person, but watching her girlfriend’s reactions to the dogs was cuter than any animal could be. Well, besides bees, but that was a given.   
“You’re so cute,” Cas whispered softly as Dean squealed in excitement over a golden retriever catching a tennis ball in their mouth.   
“Shush!” Dean responded sharply, her face flushing. “We both know that you’re the adorable one here,” she said, lightly placing her finger on Cas’ nose.   
Cas’ eyes crossed slightly as she looked at her girlfriend’s finger, playfully swatting her hand away with a soft whine.   
“Fucking dykes,” someone muttered.   
Dean’s gaze shot up in anger; Cas’ went down to the ground in fear.   
The owner of the voice was some teenage boy in the dog park with a large Doberman dog by his side. “Donnie here is trained to attack fags,” he said with a smirk.   
“Dean, don’t-“ Cas muttered, already knowing what was coming next. Much to her dismay, Deanna was already up and running. Within seconds, hands were flying between the slimy teen and the angry bisexual.   
“Dean, stop it-!” Cas yelled, rushing to her side. She didn’t like conflict; she hated fighting (though she had seen quite a few in her life).  
Mere minutes later, the sirens of a cop car were filling the air.   
“Ah fuck,” Dean muttered as an officer walked over to the three of them.   
“I was told that a lesbian was beating up a guy?”  
“He fucking started it!” Dean said quickly. “And I’m bi!”   
Castiel took Dean’s hand tightly. “And why does our sexuality matter-?”  
“Because gay people are mentally ill, clearly,” the guy interjected.  
The officer didn’t seem bothered by the homophobic comment. “I see. You two are gonna have to come with me.”  
“You don’t need to take me in too! It’s his fault!” Dean said, pointing to the guy.   
“I didn’t mean him. You two have to come with me,” the cop said, gesturing to Dean and Cas.   
“But Cas didn’t do anything!” Dean yelled.   
“Dean, calm down. It’s fine-“ Cas said quickly, squeezing her hand softly.   
“No it’s not fucking fine! You’re getting taken in for being with me but this fucking boot licker is walking free!” Dean raged.   
“Dean, let’s just go before things get violent. I’ll call Crowley to bail us out-“ Cas muttered. “She has enough to.”  
Dean swore lowly but nodded. “I don’t wanna have to owe Fergalicious money-“   
“She won’t make you pay her back if you don’t call her that-“  
The cop cut off their conversation, roughly handcuffing them both and starting to lead them to the cop car.   
Dean was angrily mumbling under her breath as they were shoved into the backseat. Cas shifted closer to Dean.   
“It’s gonna be okay,” she whispered softly.   
Dean sighed heavily, though she calmed down a bit. Cas could always calm her down.   
Cas kissed her cheek softly before shifting to the other side of the car. Dean frowned when she moved, practically whining.   
Castiella just winked at her before staring dead ahead and seeming very concentrated. She didn’t like conflict, but she did hate cops. And she recalled a post she had seen on Instagram a few days earlier. More specifically, she remembered a hashtag.   
#PissInCopcars2020  
It was a bit uncomfortable at first, pissing herself. But the fact that she would inconvenience a cop made up for it.   
Dean gasped softly when she saw the small puddle of yellow coming out from underneath Cas’ skirt and the wet patch forming on the fabric. Then she pieced it together. She remembered Cas crying from laughter over that post for a solid half hour.   
Barely even thinking, Dean found herself pissing in her pants too.  
“The hell is that smell?” the cop muttered, shifting slightly to look in the backseat.   
“Smells like a pig,” Dean said with a smirk. “So, you’re probably just smelling yourself.”  
Cas tried to keep herself from giggling but failed miserably.   
The officer parked once they got to the station, getting out of the car, and going to get Dean and Cas. He gaged as he opened the back door. “Did you fucking piss in my car?” he all but growled out.   
“...Maybe-“ Cas whispered softly.   
He glared at them both as he roughly pulled them out of the car. He swore under his breath as he led them into the station, throwing them into a holding cell and going to complain to his co-worker about his piss soaked back seat.   
Cas was giggling quite a bit more than was appropriate for someone who was in a holding cell. Dean seemed just as amused if not more so.   
“Yo, pigs! We get a phone call!” Dean yelled, dragging her cuffed hands against the cell bars to make a loud clanging noise.   
The officer glared over at them. “The one in the skirt can come out and call someone. She’s not violent.”  
Dean would have argued but she knew that Crowley liked Cas better than her anyways. The officer unlocked the cell, letting Cas slip out and go to the phone.   
One call later, Crowley had assured Cas that she was on her way to the station with the bail money.   
Once she hung up, the officer shoved Cas back into the cell and locked the door.   
“Crowley said she’s on our way but she’s not paying for you if you call her by her real name.”  
“That’s fair...I’ll just call her Fergalicious once we’re out,” Dean said.   
Cas felt bad for laughing. “You know she hates her name, honeybee.”  
Dean just chuckled softly in response, gently kissing Cas’ lips. The officer gagged.   
“Fuck off, bastard!” Dean snapped back.   
After what seemed like an eternity later, Crowley showed up late with an iced coffee and a wad of money. She tossed it at the officer absentmindedly. “Hm. You two seem amused,” she observed with a soft chuckle, looking at the two girlfriends behind bars.   
“So do you, Fergie,” Dean responded with a smirk.   
“Very funny, squirrel. I just think it’s amusing to see you behind bars for your sins against humanity. Now, I paid your little bail fee, piglet, let the gays out,” Crowley said, checking her nails absentmindedly and turning her attention to the cop midway through her sentence.   
The officer glared at Crowley, reluctantly unlocking the cell door and taking the handcuffs off of Dean and Cas.   
Cas took Dean’s hand and practically sprinted away. Crowley calmly followed behind them.   
“You two are so lucky I do illegal shit for money or you would be stuck in there. What did you get arrested for anyways? That pig seemed pissed at you both,” Crowley questioned once they were out of the station.  
“Well, we got arrested because Dean got into a fight with a homophobe,” Cas explained.   
“But the officer hated us because of a great idea that my angel had,” Dean added.   
“And what was that?” Crowley asked.   
“I pissed myself in the cop car.”

**Author's Note:**

> Remember kids, ACAB


End file.
